So I'm at a relatively high point right now concerning the Cavs, perhaps because I sense that they've achieved a dynamic equilibrium between losing and streaks and slightly longer winning streaks, resulting in a record between, say .540 and .580. This is not ideal; it is, actually, infuriating.
My question for yins: how frustrating is your rooting experience this year?
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I'm going to elaborate on this later, but there are obviously three tiers on which I experience "positive or negative returns" as a result of emotional investment in the outcome of basketball games.
PISTONS: they started the season so far below potential it was like being the parent of a stupid teenager. now, it's like watching the harlem globetrotters with their fancy passing. yay. however, the playoffs are scary because of last year and because of the western conference
WARRIORS: so injury prone -- it's like the bad guy in terminator 2, only when the warriors get their faces blown in half, they don't heal immediately because they're made of liquid metal, they just call up 3 guys from the d-league and hope no one notices. wait, that's not quite it. but this team has so much soul and style, it's actually really fun to watch them even when they're completely sucking. maybe it's because, unlike the cavs, we didn't start the season with anything other than A FIRST ROUND PLAYOFF LOSS TO THE MAVS as our ultimate goal. so if we don't make the playoffs, we can just say, WE'LL LOSE TO THE MAVS NEXT YEAR, IT'S COOL, DUDE. I just came up with a better metaphor than terminator 2 -- rooting for the warriors is like having a sort of stupid stock tip. You keep trying to convince everyone that the company is undervalued -- look at this potential! -- it's only a matter of time before the stock price will soar, but they just look at you like you're asking them to believe that ford will beat toyota NEXT quarter, or something ridiculous.
THE KNICKS: rooting for the knicks is like being a public advocate for a political prisoner. FREE MUMIA ABDUL-EDDY CURRY!! Not only do people question your sanity, but perhaps, also, your ethical purposes. I'll let Phoebe elaborate, as she feels this more acutely -- I am far less likely to talk about rooting for the knicks to random people, because most people haven't even noticed that they've improved this year. If they beat the warriors tonight, they'll have more wins before the all-star break then they had over the entire season last year. That's right, I just said it -- tonight, Phoebe and I will be courtside at Oracle Arena for the RUMBLE IN THE VALENTINE'S DAY JUNGLE: KNICKS V WARRIORS. I will be rocking my yellow "The City" t-shirt, which is vague, but is the old-school SF Warriors logo.
I'm putting all Cleveland teams on notice. They have 5 years to either win a championship or become generally terrible again or I'm going to have to quit rooting. This mediocrity on the verge of pretty good thing is going to give me severe hypertension by my early 30's.
The Browns know how to do it, I can't get stressed out when my team apparently never learned how to play tackle football. It's just kind of sad. But cute, in a way, sometimes I think they are really trying!
I guess they're all just going to have to become embarassing again, since there is that secret constitutional amendment stating that no professional sports club based out of Cleveland can win anything. It was passed in 1964. Well, there is that special exception for indoor soccer teams, but it just isn't enough!
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