ENOUGH SERIOUS TALK

Lady and gentlemen, I give you sweet-swinging (.306/.368/.501) Eric Byrnes - for the LOLZ:


"The sun was bad, but was it any worse than it's been the last 10,000 years? I'm gonna say no."
--A's outfielder Eric Byrnes, on losing a ball in the sun, barely catching the next one hit his way, then watching two more fall in for doubles (2005)


"There was no head contact, but I couldn't stop smacking kids around in tournaments, so I kept getting disqualified."
--Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, on when he took karate as a kid (2006)

"Dude, I was like John McEnroe. I was good, but I threw my racket all the time. Once, I nailed the kid on the other side of the net. I never hit the judge, but I did fire some balls at him."
--Byrnes, on his tennis career as a kid (2006)

"The greatest part about it is it went into someone's beer. My initial reaction was to send one of the kids in the clubhouse up there to buy them a new beer. Then I found out it was a Dodger fan."
--Snakes outfielder Eric Byrnes on a three-run homer of his (2006)





"I didn't realize how many degenerates sit there at home and watch television and surf the Internet and look for ways to belittle people. People should not be concentrating on what I'm wearing and what my hair looks like. They should be concerned with my flow and the knowledge coming out of my mouth."
--Byrnes, in response to television viewers critical of his haircut (2006)


"I don't get much sleep anyway. Advantage: Byrnes"
--Eric Byrnes, when asked if day games after night games were a problem for him (2007)


Bonus roffles: